I had an editor look over this. Also I stole it out of a letter I was writing.
(From a letter 7/20/07)
As you are an avid blog reader, you know I have decided to be a writer. I assure it is only out of necessity.
It feels grandiose to call myself anything at this point. I am rather unformed as a person. Which is, I suppose, a strength. I can change and drift and still be the person I always wanted and expected to be: myself.
So when I say that I have decided to be A WRITER. What I mean is that I have a scheme for how to string together all the fractious pieces of my life and it involves something I find challenging, interesting and - at lengths - inspirational (to encounter, much less produce).
Moreover, I feel blessed to have found this practically and deliberately as opposed to in a flash of brilliant inspiration (especially since brilliance and inspiration tend to flash in and flash right back out again).
I'm not reaching for my full creative expression (though I may very well find it), I don't aspire to fame or acclaim (thought I fantasize about both) and I don't think I am out to prove something (except always to myself).
I think only that I'd like to have a life worth writing about and as long as I'm planning to, I might as well be the one doing the writing.
I think I have an ability to talk, and maybe a gift for explaining and teaching. I think a little differently than most people I meet and I think I see the world a bit differently and I think altogether that might be enough to hold people's interest for a few pages; enough to string me along in a life made up of discontinuous pursuits and tangential outbursts of enthusiasm. At least, I hope so.
And if that won't do it, there is always LCD (Least Common Denominator) hope.
As in: less articulate, less moral, less motivated people with less support and less actual interest or inspiration have (I assume) succeeded in this same arena.
So the real question becomes: Why not me?
Of course, there are a number of good answers to that question. But in the meantime, the question has an echo of koan like profundity that (false though it may be) should allow for at least a few years of youthful rationalization. And, if it wasn't clearly apparent, I am nothing if not young.